


Be Here When I Wake

by DracoKissMyCass



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Established Relationship, M/M, One Shot, letting go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-11-24 02:26:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20900117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DracoKissMyCass/pseuds/DracoKissMyCass
Summary: Draco took a deep breath. "Not yet. But I will. And I know you'll be there. Ok? Will you be there when I come?""Yes." he whispered, eyes fluttering open to look up at Draco. "I'm so tired, Draco...so tired."Draco burst into tears again, nearly crushing Harry's hand. "I know, love. I know, god, I am too. But it's ok. You can go to sleep now," he sniffed."You'll be here when I wake?" Harry asked quietly.Draco nodded, pressing his lips to Harry's forehead. "Yeah. Course I will."-----At the end of all things, Harry is tired... so, so tired. He finds himself back in the white void and finally lets go.





	Be Here When I Wake

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a scene based on an RP that I did which is supposed to eventually be part of a bigger work (which is yet to be written). As an intro, Harry and Draco have an established, if rather unhealthy and co-dependant relationship. They've defeated Voldemort, but at what cost? Unable to bear the aftermath and wanting to escape the nightmares, Harry overdoses on sleeping potion. The Healers are losing hope and finally allow Draco to see his boyfriend, lover, and whole world. And that's where we jump in.   
\---  
Saying goodbye is hard. Letting go even harder.

Draco nodded, going back inside and upstairs. He took Harry's hand, glad the healers had let him have five minutes. Which also worried him to bits, since obviously they thought he wasn't going to make it anyway. He shivered, looking down at Harry's limp form. "Harry? I don't know if you can even hear me, but Hermione obviously thinks you can or she wouldn't have made me come talk to you. She said to tell you I still love you. Which I do," he whispered, tears stinging his eyes. "Of course I do. How could I not? You're funny and sexy and a brilliant person, you're my world. But it's hard. When... When I was tortured, I don't know if you remember I was, but... Voldemort made himself look like you. And after a while it was hard to believe it wasn't you, he drugged me and put all these visions in my head of you. It hurts to look at you now. When we had that argument at the hospital, it wasn't really because you didn't remember me. It was because I could barely even look at you without wanting to throw up or cry or crawl away and die. It fucked me up, and I kept hoping that if you came back it would be easier, because I'd had time, but it wasn't easier. Those memories won-" he broke off with a sob, gripping Harry's hand tightly. "They won't fade. And I'm so, so sorry," he muttered. "So now you know, I guess. But... but if you don't want to come back, that's ok too. If you wanna let go, I understand. I'd hate if you stayed here out of obligation. And if you do stay, I'm not promising I'll stay around. You need to be stronger and not rely on me as much. I want you to be able to stand on your own. I think... actually, most people probably think, that you need to talk to someone, to sort through all the shit you've gone through." He sat gingerly on the end of the bed, still holding Harry's hand tight. "But we can talk about that if you come back. I hope you can hear me, or I'm going to feel like an idiot," he laughed sadly, wiping away a few tears. "You need to make your choice, sweetheart."

On the bed Harry lay still, fingers barely twitching in Draco's palm. Last time he had come back out of obligation, because the world needed him, but this time...He didn't want to. He was back in that white void, like a station but not, but this time Sirius wasn't here. This time he was left alone. 

Draco waited, holding his breath as he wondered if there was going to be some kind of sign, the tears he'd kept bottled up for so long flowing freely as he sobbed and held Harry's hand in his.

Harry wandered the white void, wondering if it would be better for everyone if he just stayed here and never came back. Surely no one would miss him? He paused as he heard words, a familiar, calming voice. "Draco?" He breathed. In the real world he tried to speak, but his tongue was heavy and no sound came out.

Draco thought he saw Harry stir a little, hope flickering, even if he'd just imagined it. "Harry?" He sniffled, feeling quite pathetic. "Did you hear all that?"

"Draco..." his lips mouthed again, as if he was murmuring the name quietly.

Draco gasped, nodding. "Yeah, it's me Harry. Please, you need to make a decision."

"Don't wanna." he mumbled.

Draco couldn't hold back another sob, pressing his lips to Harry's knuckles. "I just want you to be happy," he whispered. "Without having to rely on me for it. You deserve at least that much, love."

"Draco..." he breathed, lips barely moving. "Where are you...can't see."

Draco sniffed. "I'm right here," he said gently.

"C-can't see." he whimpered

"It's ok, as long as you can hear me," he murmured. "Did you hear that great big speech?" He smiled tearily.

In his head Harry was running around the white void, looking for the source of Draco's voice. "Don't wanna." he mumbled again. "Draco."

Draco frowned, linking his and Harry's fingers together gently. "Harry, it's ok. I'm with you. I'm sitting right next to you on the bed."

"Can't find you. Gotta find you."

"It's ok, love," he said softly. "I'm here, just listen to me, please."

Harry's fingers twitched, as if in agreement, and he stayed silent.

Draco sighed, pushing Harry's hair back from his face. "Did you hear everything I said before?" He murmured, wiping his eyes before realizing that was useless because the tears weren't going to stop anytime soon.

"Jus...jus your voice." he mumbled.

"Did you listen?" He asked, watching him nervously.

"N-no." he whimpered, still searching for Draco in his head. "Where are you?"

"Told you, I'm sitting next to you," he said as patiently as he could. "Relax, love. I'm here."

Harry frowned. "Y-you're dead t-too?"

"You're not dead yet," Draco said, voice cracking.

"'m supposed to be." he mumbled. "So I can be with you."

"But I'm still alive," he sniffed.

"You were dead." 

"No," Draco said softly. "Harry, do you want to be dead?"

"Mh hm."

Draco closed his eyes, a few more tears falling. "O-ok. Um... it's ok if you want to," he said gently. "I don't mind. You can let go."

"Can't...not if you're not here."

Draco shivered. "Well I'm not dead. What if you came back?" He said sadly.

"You said you wouldn't be there." He whimpered. "I'm tired...so tired..."

Draco covered his eyes, shaking. "What, so you want me to kill myself."

"No." Harry mumbled, becoming agitated. "No!"

Draco sniffled unhappily. "Then I don't know what to do. You don't want to stay and you don't want me to come with you."

"Jus want you."

"Harry, you have to make a choice!" Draco said firmly. "Please!"

Harry twitched in agitation again. "W-would you come with me?"

"That means I have to die too," Draco whispered.

He whimpered quietly, fingers twitching again in Draco's palm. "Would you?"

Draco took a deep breath. "Not yet. But I will. And I know you'll be there. Ok? Will you be there when I come?"

"Yes." he whispered, eyes fluttering open to look up at Draco. "I'm so tired, Draco...so tired."

Draco burst into tears again, nearly crushing Harry's hand. "I know, love. I know, god, I am too. But it's ok. You can go to sleep now," he sniffed.

"You'll be here when I wake?" Harry asked quietly.

Draco nodded, pressing his lips to Harry's forehead. "Yeah. Course I will."

Harry smiled a little. "I love you." he whispered before his eyes closed and his fingers went absolutely limp in Draco's hand.

Draco stared down at Harry, vision blurred as he placed his hand over Harry's heart, not feeling a beat. "Oh, god," he breathed, shaking as he drew Harry to him and held him tightly.

Harry stayed in the swirling, white void, a soft smile across his lips, the same smile as was on his body. At last he was at peace.

**Author's Note:**

> So... did you cry? Because I certainly do every time I read this even though I'm the one who wrote it.   
Anyway, if you happen to want me to write the rest of this long and perilous story to find out how we got to this point, please let me know!  
\---  
Kudos are life, Kudos are love <3


End file.
